I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize