yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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