If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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