dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
