Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
