You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
