So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
