He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
