How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize