Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
