just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
