Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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