The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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