normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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