it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
