Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
