We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Houston, we have a blender
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
