Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
