So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
