Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
