i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
