Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
