was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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