When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
