we have pet lesbian snakes
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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