Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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