i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
