OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize