I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
