I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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