So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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