we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize