Are we in a gay sports bar?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
