is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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