I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize