i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
