One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Houston, we have a squirter
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
