You can't special order awesome
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
