ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
