It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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