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She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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