I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
