You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
