Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
