He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
