if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize