Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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