its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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