took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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