You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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