Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
