i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
