Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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