I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize