8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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