no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
