So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
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