no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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